Like a Coin… Michael Joseph Jackson (1958-2009)
Michael Jackson
Everyone’s life has value…think of it as a precious coin. Coins have two sides, just as life begins in birth and ends in death. Without both sides and everything in between -life, just as a coin, will have no value.
Can you imagine living without the in-between?
Can you remember what you were doing at the age of five?
Sitting in silence with my eyes closed, mourning the loss of someone who has been a part of me since the beginning, I tried to imagine what it must have been like to be Michael Jackson. I’m thinking what it must have been like having fun with your family, especially your brothers, singing and dancing in the basement. We’ve all done that at some point in our lives -at least I can say I’ve been there. Well having fun is wonderful and when your father suggests that the family can make money singing and dancing, that sounds wonderful too. It is wonderful until it becomes an obsession.
Okay, so now starts the living out the dreams of the father, things are going to improve -especially since the singing and dancing brothers get a big break. Father’s obsessive dictatorial push grows even stronger. Lives are now being managed, no one has a mind of their own. This is good until one day you look around and discover you are no longer five years old, but ten years old. You are singing and dancing all the time -rehearsals, recording sessions, television performances, club dates and stage shows all over the country -when you realize that another ten years has gone by and you’re now fifteen. Everywhere you go people recognize you and you’re starting to realize that everyone wants a piece of you. You can’t go anywhere alone… you can’t go to beaches, parks, amusements, movies, concerts (unless you are the concert), shopping, restaurants, or for a simple walk. Makes you wanna holler -throw up both your hands. Oh, that’s another singer’s story. Lets get back to being Michael.
Somehow, along the way, your talent emerges and outshines the talents of your brothers causing dollar signs to appear in the eyes of producers, promoters and your father. Now, we all know that no matter how much love exists between brothers at least one -maybe two or more, will become green with envy. Most likely, the father begins to play ends against the middle and you start to feel like an outsider. You love what you’re feeling in terms of the ideas coursing through your brain, and you wouldn’t mind the opportunity to jump out there and give it a try. You’ve been in the business for a while and you’ve seen the toll it takes on some of the best; Marvin and Paul come to mind though their pain and turmoil has not yet surfaced at this point in your life. People are pushing at you from every direction. Your chance is coming.
This is a time in America when black and whites still stand with a rope drawing a line in the sand. Music, with the possible exception of jazz, is still a dividing factor among the races with artists trying to ‘crossover’ the color line. Motown, which is where you got your start, perfected crossover artists; black to white audiences. Even the new innovative methods of marketing such as the onset of music videos set demarcation lines through vehicles like cable television and MTV.
A knight in shining armor comes into your life to lift you out from under the weight of the past years. He sees your talent and potential, and the two of you team up to create what becomes a powerful suite of music. You’re empowered. With the success of the first musical effort and with your new mentor, the two of you embark on a greater challenge which results in career and world changing magic. You become the hottest selling recording artist in the world, you break down color barriers to open doors for others, you win accolades and numerous awards; everything has come together after more than twenty years in the music business and you’re not even thirty years old. Where did the time go? What happened to the family? Where are the buddies? Although there is schooling, there was no one place where you part of the class, no teenage crushes, no high school proms or graduation, no college life with dormitories and pledging for Greek letters. Now what?
You still can’t go anywhere in peace, can’t even hold a simple conversation on things other than the business… and if you want peace and quiet you have to stay secluded, so you take the money you’ve earned, buy up some land and build yourself a place where you can do some of the things you missed as a child. Only problem is that it won’t be fun if you’re there all by yourself. Well who better to share this wonderful place than the little ones? Even better, you decide you want to help those who can’t help themselves so that they don’t grow up without a childhood memory. This is great until somewhere along the way, someone with unrelenting motives sees dollar signs and decides in their twisted mind that something is amiss behind the gilded gate of your retreat. Now you are perceived as someone sinister instead of someone with a good heart… a child’s heart.
Damn, damn, damn!
Can’t stop here because there is another aspect that is so tormented you need to become someone else. Your public persona must keep up with the successes you’ve created, else you’ll be stuck being a grown-up who never had a chance to grow up. Okay, maybe if you tweak a little bit of the outside you’ll relieve some of the torment; though you’re not even sure what is the root cause. Anyway, one thing leads to another and before you know it you’ve evolved into a different physical person on the outside, but deep down on the inside you are still you.
Are you keeping your own notes? Let’s see… now you’ve been in show business for thirty years, you’ve become extremely wealthy, extremely extravagant -that’s because you are such a giving person, and yet there’s still something missing. And, the bottom feeders and hangers on who want -no need- to be near you are also helping to destroy you. Suddenly you become fodder for simple mindedness, trashy newspapers, and across the pond in the UK, you’re referred to as ‘Wacko Jacko’. This is painful. You also have to endure both a physical and mental pain that has developed over the years. Your insides are burning when suddenly someone takes the wonderment and turn it into something sinister. You’ll discover later that this endurance race is just the start.
Know what, you realize that you need to pour out love on someone special and block out the world’s insanity. Finding a spouse is not easy because of who you are and what you’ve become however, the perfect person steps into you life. The story of their life has similarities to yours, and with a tremendous amount of understanding, you get married. Pressures on the outside become tremendous and with two years you’re single again. Children…your own children that’s the ticket. Within the next ten years, you accomplish becoming the parent of three beautiful children, the two oldest from your second marriage. Of course, your methods are criticized perhaps because no one but you and those involved need to know details of your most intimate life. Now at least you have a legacy bloodline, but wait…that may prove to be difficult at some point.
Hey, readers are you still with me here? Maybe you should sit in silence with your eyes closed and try being Michael when you’re done reading.
Think for a minute. You’ve been in show business most of your life, you’re starting to age meaning you can’t perform like you could a few years ago, you have three children and you’ve been battling internal and public demons for years now. You have mounting debt and you’re life has been filled with promoters, lawyers and accountants while you’ve had to dodge bullets of accusations about your perceived lifestyle; this last one was the most painful experience of your life.
After many sleepless nights in reflection and discernment, you realize your responsibility to set matters straight and decide to face the world and its demons head on, one more time; this is it.
Like a coin you had the in-between. It is sixty-five days before your fifty-first birthday. Yesterday was a good day. Working on your planned salvation is fulfilling, yet strenuous. Your body aches, you are physically tired, your mental stamina is exhausted, and within the blink of an eye God says “Come home my child, I will take care of everything, with me you can get your the rest.”
RIP Michael… Amani na Mapenzi: Love & Peace
You will live forever in my heart and in my home where your music often fills the air.
© June 27, 2009 – Sharon Moore Stenhouse – All rights reserved.
