Matthew 8:24-26

My mother had a saying “If it weren’t for common sense, there would be no sense at all.” She would further expand on on the fact that all the education –book learning is what those born before 1950 called it, in the world cannot compensate for a lack of common sense. Today I call it educated ignorance.

Most, if not all of the drama and trauma we have in our lives is self-inflicted. We tend to plunge head on into situations that if we stopped and thought for a moment, would have different outcomes. Remember the definition of insanity is doing the same thing the same way and expecting a different result.

Are some problems really worth solving? Do we bend and twist our perceptions to make problems? Are some situations best when left alone? Here is an old tried and true method to determine the answer.

Common sense tells us to move on when solving the problem or improving the situation takes more than…

Five minutes

Five hours

Five days

Five weeks

Five months or

Five years

What is common sense? Many scholars, theologians, psychologists, psychiatrists, medical doctors, teachers, and even parents have tried to define the term. Let’s just say common sense is paying attention to the obvious.

Mark 4:37-39 “And there arose a great storm of wind, and the waves beat into the ship, so that it was now full. And he was in the hinder part of the ship, asleep on a pillow: and they awake him, and say unto him, Master, carest thou not that we perish? And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.”

Do you suppose Jesus gave very much thought to this situation? It probably took longer to awaken out of his sleep than to foster his own common sense solution. In this situation, he showed his caring by calming the storm. Suppose instead Jesus started questioning the whys and what for, or had to make sure everything was to his liking before offering his rebuke.

Matthew 8:24-26 adds a little more flavor to the mix. “And, behold, there arose a great tempest in the sea, insomuch that the ship was covered with the waves: but he was asleep. And his disciples came to him, and awoke him, saying, Lord, save us: we perish. And he saith unto them, Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith? Then he arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm?”

Do you get it?  In other words, depending on the scope of the problem or situation, insanity kicks in if any of the timetables of five have passed and nothing is resolved.  Move on and try something different, or let it be. Sometimes tabling a problem is not a solution because the resolution dies on the table.

So next time you or someone ponders a perceived problem, or believe there is a need to improve a situation…ask; “is common sense in use?”

Stained glass windows artfully depict

Biblical scenes glowing in sun lit color

Illuminating the line of votive flames

Flickering their golden dances of prayer

While kneelers wait for Him whose will

Carries loved ones holding on…

Some already gone

To the peace of their eternal home

Shadows across the sanctuary waltz

Quiet no longer hushed

Distant voices grow into chatter

Breaking the silence

One by one, in twos and threes

They come filling empty pews

Eyes glancing, heads nodding

Acknowledging one’s presence for now

Turning as they reverently bow

Hands crossing head to heart

Shoulder to shoulder

Preparing the minds of some

For silent whispers

Offering thanksgiving

In search of atonement

Brought forth in supplication

From murmurs faint and low

As organ pipes cry in agony, breathe

Ancient dirges, processional hymns

Songs to escort the ritual entry

Sunday morning has begun ♥

© 2008 – Sharon Moore Stenhouse – All Rights Reserved

Stenhouse, Sharon Moore. Amani na Mapenzi: Love & Peace Volume Two-The Poetry and Essays of a’Kihoro. Baltimore: Lulu, 2009

Takin' dem vows...

Marriage is a covenant with God first, then it can be defined as a partnership between two people. It is very important in this day in time, as opposed to biblical time as we’ve come to read about, that we know what we are getting ourselves into. In many cultures, marriages are pre-arranged by the parents of the bride and groom. The religious belief during that time was out of duty to God, the people should be fruitful and multiply. People married very early in life, and any person who has passed the age of 20 without being married has not carried out the will of God.

In ancient Jewish culture, there existed prenuptial agreement of sorts. Called a dowry, the compensation paid to the bride’s family for the loss of their daughter and the services she could have provided to her family, had she remained with them. Families tried to provide each daughter with a dowry; property handed over by her family at the time of her marriage and afterwards owned by the wife. It was her share of the family inheritance, enough to act as an income for her should she be abandoned or widowed.

The purpose of marriage vows allow both parties to speak openly before a community of witnesses whose assurance to watch over the betrothed couple is sometimes part of the ceremony. The symbolic unbroken circle the wedding band represents completes the covenant. Here is a dissection and interpretation of what the traditional Christian wedding vows represent.

Number One:

In the Name of God, I, (Name)., take you, (Name)., to be my (wife) (husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.

Or, the more familiar version…

Number Two:

I, (Name)., take thee, (Name)., to my wedded (wife) (husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I (plight) (give) thee my troth.

• “to have and to hold from this day forward.” Nowhere in that statement does it say anything about letting go, giving up, throwing in the towel. You have just promised God that you’re in it for the long haul.

• “for better or worse,” that’s a hard one. Human beings are selfish. It is difficult for even the most ardent believer to accept even the best in people, let alone the worse. When we are hurt by the other we often become self-absorbed -often shooting from the hip, with rage and blame rather than taking a step back to look at the situation. We often fail to assess the whole situation –including ourselves, to determine the root cause. We are often reluctant to admit that part of the root cause may be our own doing, most likely from a decision we made without thinking or something we chose to ignore early in the relationship.

• “for richer for poorer,” what I bring to the table is not material. Sinful man lusts after material things, which can be lost and destroyed. After assessing the fire, we realize that all material things were lost however, what remains is the relationship we have with each other.

• “in sickness and in health,” doesn’t just mean physical health, we are talking about mental and cognitive health as well. Should we be so quick to look the other way or run when something goes wrong? Aren’t we bound by the first covenant statement in the marriage vows to assess the health of the relationship? Then, once an assessment is made are we not bound by that same covenant to administer the necessary aid for corrective healing?

• “to love and to cherish,” means that first I have to like you as a person before I can love and cherish you. Often we fall in love with an image of the person, not the person himself or herself. As humans, we are the highest degree of animal on the planet –at least according to science. We think, therefore we reason. Now if I don’t like you that means I have a problem with your persona (personality). Your personality is what makes you uniquely you; including all the warts and funk that linger in your spirit. When you like someone, you will find forgiveness of that person’s sins comes much easier than it does for someone you dislike.

• “till death do us part.” Some might say that this is the spiritual death of the marriage, not the physical death of one of the partners. If we live within the marriage covenant, will a real spiritual death occur? If we take the time to really get to know the person, whether we share the same values or even if we like each other, the only death that will separate the two should be physical.

Now I suppose when couples write their own vows, as has become common in today’s pop culture, they can work their way around the original covenant.

Do you know people who have remained married for years, even decades? Ask them how they did it and they will tell you it wasn’t easy but they managed to stand by each other… including standing in the gap.

I have to confess that I am divorced. The marriage vows didn’t mean as much to my ex-husband as they did to me, although this marriage was a truly unique example of being dead in spirit from the very beginning. You’ll have to read my two books Amani na Mapenzi: Love & Peace (2007) and Amani na Mapenzi: Love & Peace Volume Two (2009) to understand the true story.

© 2009 Sharon Moore Stenhouse – All Rights Reserved

A Reflective MJ

One thing that continues to trouble my soul since June 25, 2009 is the fact that Michael Jackson was not trying to die.  He had too much to live for -first and foremost, his own children, along with his passion for healing the world through healing children.  At 50 years old, he was aware of his abilities and had his own concrete plans to live long into old age.  During the announcement of his then, upcoming concert tour he told the audience “This is it, this is the final call.”  What’s sad is that he wasn’t talking about leaving this earth, he was talking about working himself into a frenzy to perform the quality his fans had become so accustomed.  He was telling us… ‘I’m getting old, and as much as I’d like to keep going, I’ve got to slow down.’   And, as usual with Michael being the exacting professional, he gave it everything he had… including his life.

There are many young people, especially African-American 35 years and younger, who remember only the sensationalism brought upon him at the hands of others, or his ever changing physical appearance.  They refuse to listen to his music, thus they are robbing themselves of his talent, his genius, his message.  In a conversation with a young woman whom I consider highly intelligent,  she admits that she doesn’t remember anything else about Michael Jackson except that he was a child molester.  When I quickly responded to her that no, he is not, her reaction was “Yes he is.  Look at all the publicity and the trial.”  Here’s how the rest of the conversation continued…

“Don’t you believe he’s a child molester?” she asked.

“No, I do not.” I responded.

“Why not, it has been proven.” she continues “He was arrested and had to stand trial.”

“He was acquitted on all counts.” I responded.

“Just because he was acquitted, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.  What about the child before?  Why did he settle that one out of court?  How can you say that he is not a molester?” was her rather agitated response.

My reply…”The God in me will not allow me to view him as a molester.  I have never for one moment believed that he could hurt a child.  He’d hurt you before he would harm a hair on any child.”

The young lady tried to paint a different scenario by asking “What if it was your child?  Suppose your child came home and told you they slept in someone’s bedroom, with an adult.”

My response went something like this… “First, my child wouldn’t be with an adult I didn’t know and trust.  I wouldn’t accuse the trusted person of molesting the child until I found out the facts, was absolutely sure, and had concrete evidence (both physical and psychological).  Even if I were suspicious, I wouldn’t push the issue without being absolutely certain something portentous happened.  I would have to speak to the adult (with or without the child present).  Jumping to conclusions does not mean anything out of the ordinary happened.  It speaks to my friendship and trust in the individual.”

And my young friend said…”Well, you are certainly different that I am.”

For the many who don’t know Michael and can’t imagine him beyond the entertainer, here is a glimpse into the man.

2001 Heal the Children Speech at Oxford University.*
This is part 1/4 of the audio w/full text. You can continue to listen to parts 2/4, 3/4 and 4/4.

* Heal the Children Speech on YouTube

© 2009, Sharon Moore Stenhouse – all rights reserved.

Footprints in the Sand

Recently I launched a heavily researched, well-developed and well-planned creative writing through Bible study workshop called Seven Biblical Women. Even with a complete marketing approach to include a brochure with registration information, community and web advertising, footwork and good old-fashioned word of mouth campaign, the attendance did not meet the expectations.

I anguished for weeks over the number of people who loved the workshop idea, seemed impressed with the marketing but did not register. My biggest concern was the target audience -Christians and those involved in any genre of writing, who took lightly to registering in advance for a new untested workshop. These are my colleagues, peers and friends.

When the launch date finally approached, I made the decision to go forth with the workshop knowing I would have to make strategic changes in the program on the fly, based on the number of registrants and warm bodies in attendance. My own plan as I envisioned the success of the workshop was falling apart. That morning as I was getting dressed I prayed and asked God to give me an anointing… telling him that the workshop was to his glory, not my own; it was not about me, it was about him.

I arrived at the workshop site 15 minutes early (7:45 am) and sat in my car 35 minutes before someone arrived to unlock the doors. During this period of waiting, I became overwhelmed with the anxiety of not being able to start on time, since I had equipment to set-up and test. Further, there were refreshments on the way that also required attention. At the advertised start time of 9:00 am, four people had arrived. A feeling of dismay was about to overtake me when I suddenly heard the sound of laughter and many voices. Warm bodies were beginning to arrive.

The workshop began behind schedule however; of the few people sitting before me, I saw nothing but eager, smiling faces.  In my head, I said…  “Here we go Lord.”

What a Joyous Day

The workshop introduction and presentation of biblical cultural history flowed without a glitch, and fostered lots of questions.  In the original plan, the workshop required a minimum of 21 people.  The pre-registration number topped out at 14, and by the end of the morning session, the number of attendees dwindled to nine. Talk about thinking on your feet!  At this point, we were supposed to be in seven discussion groups of three people each, so I took a vote and we agreed to forego the group discussions and work together collectively. We read aloud, asked questions, and inserted thoughts, ideas and summaries of the material that opened up a floodgate of expression. This turned out to be exactly what I was trying to achieve in the original planning of the workshop. The interaction was much more than I imagined.

As a result, I put on my performer’s face and read a powerful monologue for the Samaritan Woman. The Spirit of the Lord moved through every person in the room. By the time I completed the reading, everyone was up on their feet cheering, praising, and giving thanks; not to me but to Jesus. We then engaged in an interactive question and answer game filled with so much fun and laughter, we all had tears of joy.  The workshop closed with a reading of the prayer For Knowledge of God’s Creation from the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer. Afterwards, we hugged and danced in praise.

Here are the testimonials:

From an email received the following morning…

“Praise God from whom all blessings flow!  Hope this finds you well rested today from the very successful debut of the Seven Biblical Women workshop ministry. It was a blessing to be a part of how God has prepared you to be a blessing to others and empower them through the written word.”

From the attendee evaluations…

“One of the best workshops I’ve ever experienced.”

“Excellent visuals, professionally done.”

“Beautiful – Excellent!”

“The instruction was good – good intervention”

“Fun”

“Yes, I would recommend this workshop to others, including my church.”

“Most definitely plan to use the workbook for further Bible study.”

“The game show…That was awesome, a lot of fun!”

“This workshop helped me to appreciate more being a woman and a daughter of the Heavenly Father.”

God had a plan already in place for the success of this workshop…you see, the original vision came from him. He entrusted me with this work and allowed me to develop it, as I am sure he watched over me closely. He was not about to let his work fail. He also gave me the assurance that my planning was not flawed, it only needed a little tweak to give me the confidence I needed to continue in this ministry.

I am encouraged. This experience has shown me that we sometimes loose faith, and when we do, we must put our trust in him. Through the anxiety, I carried prior to the launch of the workshop, perhaps God laughed, not at me, but with me. He lifted me, and all who participated in a wonderful time of new knowledge, new techniques, new friends and most of all Christian fellowship.    To God Be the Glory!

© 2009   Sharon Moore Stenhouse – All Rights Reserved

Old Fashioned Writing

The group member then asked if her daughter who took a few semesters of creative writing at a university could join the group. The message showed humor, passion and style. I felt compelled to express words of encouragement to this person who might not recognize a God given gift.

“I’d love to have your daughter join the group. Now, about you…every one of us has been given gifts we don’t use. I can testify to that because up until a few years ago I had no interest in writing. Someone pointed out my gift of expression and dared me to write a poem and participate in an open mike night. From there I published my first book of poetry and I haven’t stopped writing since. What I realized as I read the 28 poems I had written for my first book is that each one had a direct or indirect reference to God. Well, since I am his child I knew that he must have some intervened by allowing me to use him in this new found gift.

What I am saying to you is as I read your message I saw a creative writer. As a mother, I’m sure you have stories to tell. As humans, we all do…stories from our youth, stories about church, stories about that last trip to the grocery store which drove us crazy. The trick is in order to share those stories with as many people as possible, we need to write them.

Yes, we can verbally tell our stories however, it only travels from our lips to the ears of the listener. That’s who the African Griot is… the oral historian. More often than not, wonderful stories, lessons, recipes and traditions are lost forever because they went to the grave with the teller.  When we write our stories -in whatever form best suits us, they leave a lasting legacy for generations…ergo, the Bible.

Although I have the greatest respect for higher education courses, the gift of writing comes from God. Without this gift, all the education in the world will only teach you the mechanics of writing.

So, hang in there and participate. Write a love letter to God using as much emotion as you can garner. You’ll be amazed at how creative your writing truly is.”

© 2009  Sharon Moore Stenhouse -All Rights Reserved-